Nobody taught me about establishing healthy boundaries. The reason is because they don’t know how to establish healthy boundaries themselves. Healthy boundaries are not there for you to live a limited or restricted life. They are needed for you to live a fulfilled and wholesome one.
The tribe has something in common with each other and that is homogeneity within its members. Depending on the tribe, there is a spectrum in which everyone is expected to express. Anything beyond that spectrum is seen as a rebellious act and the member is most likely ostracized. There are really strict tribes that even putting one foot outside those implicit boundaries is equal to be treated like a criminal and consequences are to be determined for the “black sheep”. These boundaries are not healthy ones. They are belief systems, social conditioning, programming, indoctrination, etc.
Healthy boundaries are to be established by a tribe of one. In other words, one must establish these healthy boundaries within his own psyche with the use of the corresponding sub-personality (for example, a stable and balanced Inner Warrior). If expand my awareness I effortlessly know there is only one being in existence in my reality. In your reality, it’s you. Living this principle in my daily life (including it in my contracted awareness) is something incredibly liberating.
Some might say that this way of thinking is egoistic of me. Why is that? Why is it so inconvenient to focus on my inspiration, effortless knowing, authentic expression rather than to fix my vision and dedicate my life embodying a set of rules placed by a sick society? Or bow my head at the so called “experts” that supposedly know more about my body than myself? Is it truly better to postpone living authentically because I’m a member of a tribe that forbids talking about certain topics or expressing in specific ways because they fear the Unknown? Because they don’t want to deal with processing the buried distorted emotions accumulated through eons in their bodies?
One thing is to respect and honor the experience and existence of people around me. Love them, help them if they really want my help. It’s not healthy to keep interacting with people who suck your energy dry just because they are addicted to drama, due to them being unable to canalize energy directly from Source (their own vastness). There are several tools available to help them learn to do so, but it’s really challenging for people in this society to realize the belief systems they hold on dearly, are the actual matrices that are imprisoning them into the reality they so desperately want to flee.
If I do not learn to shine my own light, how in the world am I going to be able to help another person learn how to shine his/hers? To put healthy boundaries with the people and situations around me is something I’ve learned the hard way, but it has been one of the most valuable lessons I’ve managed to apply in my daily life. This doesn’t mean I’ve mastered the art, but I surely avoid being sucked dry as much as I possibly can. I keep remembering that this is the greatest service one can offer to the all and it’s truly important to stalk the self and to look for unhealthy attachments and interactions that need to be uprooted with vigor.