Quality over quantity. This applies everywhere. It’s better to have one single pen that is absolutely wonderful, that the ink runs smoothly across the paper, that it’s comfortable to hold to its form, that it’s pretty to look at, etc. than 20 boring pens that do not inspire.
I’ve had trouble in applying this concept for the longest time until some years ago when I finally told myself that enough is enough. I paused everything and opened my eyes to what was in front of me. What was I doing with 50 pieces of dinnerware for two individuals living with 2 cats and no grand social interaction? I had a severe problem of letting things/people/memories go.
I knew that my addiction to external sources of inspiration or reference points was problematic. Severe self-work was needed to even burn old letters that some friends gave me at school. I was still adamant in letting my personal history go, but as soon as I managed to burn the first page, a sense of relief started to flood my being.
The more I was able to achieve shedding belongings that did not truly inspire me, that did not belong to my present level of consciousness, the lighter I felt, the higher the reward of encountering a little more freedom on that specific aspect of my life. But I knew that all the stuff that I had been hoarding was just a mirror of the people I was still allowing to feed my energy off.
People I still had expectations of. People I knew that I was trying to “save”, but they were not receptive to anything whatsoever. Needy people that instead of learning how to master their minds, they settle for asking you to do it for them every time you answer their calls or texts. People that do not want to work on themselves, slow life down gradually, prioritize self-examination over shallow and vertiginous living. That does not mean I don’t love them or care for them. Love is a very misunderstood concept that I would love to explore in another time.
Now, I find within myself that at the time, I was blaming others for my lack of time, space, privacy & therefore clarity of awareness. It’s easier to blame than finding the root cause of a meridian that is blocked to cause such distorted emotion to be able to exist within my expression. When one tends to shame, blame, disgust and greed it’s a clear indicator that the stomach meridian is blocked. Working with sandalwood in the corresponding acupressure point is key to alleviate all of these.
I realized that I was the one who had to take the responsibility not only for my own being, but for my environment. I was the one who had to change my perspective regarding my time, my space, my privacy. I was the one who had to put healthy boundaries with people, with activities, with even pets. I was the one who had to prioritize the nourishing of my physical body, soul and the two bodies of spirit. I was the one that had to say NO to social conditioning, belief systems, world views, identities, personality layers others wanted me to live by.
It was then that I finally was able to move with huge steps in a straight line towards my healing instead of taking 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.
PD: By the way, the symbolism of fallen leaves means “shedding old acquaintances that don’t enrich life”.
artwork by valmark