Refusing to see truth

Truth – at least for me – is not something I seek outside of myself. Truth is not something I recycle from the insights I could have gained a month ago in a moment of deep realization (the “a-ha” reaction). Truth is certainly not some regurgitated set of guidelines some dogmatic institution came up with hundreds of years ago. Truth is not the expectations some tribe (be it a relationship, a family, a social group, an institution, a religion) has from me. That kind of “truth” is completely non-acceptable for me, unless I experience it, resonate with it and under my own terms and then express it authentically.

Now, I have somewhat rationalized that those illusions of truth are in actuality not the pure concept of truth I’m trying to explain here. The only truth I base my perception, emotions and therefore, my thoughts and actions on, is my highest truth, the one I (and only I) have access to in the very present moment. I would love to say in timelessess, but I think it’s a concept a little difficult to explain in regards to this. I will do so in the future.

The thing is that sometimes, to access my highest truth in a situation and articulate it is seen as harsh, cruel, egocentric, delusional or even evil or demonic. Almost everyone takes it as face value and they seem to forget to incorporate a symbolic/eternal/poetic perspective towards me and towards life in general. Why is that? I think it is because people tend to seek refuge in some or any kind of the following limiting matrices: Belief systems, world-views, social conditioning, identity layers, personality traits, ancestral traditions, etc. Be it consciously or unconsciously, due to the eons of programming mankind has been subjected to.

I think of myself as a living work of art (well, everybody is art unfolding – even if the person is able to realize it or not). I do not take anything personal, because absolutely nothing revolves around me. In my reality, the one I consciously (and also unconsciously) co-create, I am the cause of all that I experience in my environment and I’m also the effect.

Nothing revolves around me, I create all around me to be able to communicate with myself. If there is something I don’t like about what I see, I change my perception, I change my emotions, I change my attitude. Then, the very thing that upsets me the night before may no longer be here today. It dissolves when I include it within my perception, when I accept it and start to evaluate what aspects of myself am I not fully expressing so that it managed to manifest in my environment.

Unfortunately, people are too preoccupied with the frantic lives they are living. Shallowness, hectic activity, always doing something and not being able to let themselves be. I totally understand this, since I have been in the same position as well. I sometimes fail to put up healthy boundaries and end up in that over-polarization in electricity (the doingness – masculine – electric pole of the sub-atomic particles) and I feel drained afterwards if I don’t balance it with expressing magnetically (the beingness – femenine pole of the sub-atomic particles).

When someone is in that position, like sitting at the edge of a very fast spinning merry-go-round, he/she is most likely unable to respond instead of react. What I mean is that most of their expression revolves around reacting to their environment instead of responding to it from the perspective that their environment is speaking to the self. It asks for recognition, for appreciation, for acceptance, for inclusiveness, for resolution.

It is very unlikely to be able to access our highest truth in that position, because one can “make excuses” saying they don’t have the time. I do think this is true. Yes, they don’t have it because they don’t have the energy nor the power to make time for themselves to start peeling the layers of programming they are being subjected to. How in the world are they able to fulfill this task? Ho could somebody have time for beingness, for wholesome living if bills need to get paid, the globally the health situation worsens, the kids, the workplace, the stress and the list is never-ending.

I relate to all of this, like I said previously, I have been in that same position as well. But there is something people maybe don’t realize. Indeed one has many responsibilities. But if they could only see, that for example, shedding relationships that don’t inspire (see my post about this topic here) could mean freedom. To dissolve something dysfunctional that drain our energy is very important to start our healing journey.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that understanding at some level (one can never hope to understand the self, nor another) the situation of people around me means that I will comply with their folly by acting according to their expectations of me. That is something I am not willing to accept. I won’t justify myself ever again (I did so every single time in the past). I won’t ever feel guilty for existing again. If someone doesn’t agree with my highest truth that is perfectly fine. I totally understand and I absolutely respect everyone’s opinion, since it’s a unique perspective of Infinite’s Intent.

But another completely different thing is to accept their “truths” and modify my authentic expression due to pressure, bullying, condescending messages and the like. I don’t preach my highest truth. It is only accessed for my personal guidance and articulated in an artistic way because I do have a poetic/eternal/symbolic/adventurous perspective towards life.

If another reads or listens to it and feels like I’m conspiring against him/her or if they feel I’m mockering the institution/religion/social tribe they blindly or consciously follow, that is totally their own issue. Don’t blame me for completely ignoring this dysfunctional behavior. I am not in the position of saving, teaching, supporting another that is not truly willing to be receptive.

If, on the other hand, someone feels inspired, well I would feel humbled to grateful if I know that is the case. But I always recommend to feel my words, feel my intention and see beyond appearances. If you resonate with this, then the inspiration should flow through your unique perspective to be able to be articulated by you authentically. Life is too precious to focus on what we are not. Let’s focus on what we are so our environment expresses it back to us.

artwork by valmark

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